Alternatively, just lie about the cancellation reason. *"Why are you cancelling your Comcast internet service?" Answer: "I am moving to the Solomon islands, where there is no Comcast service or business for 1000 miles in any direction (at least)."
“I’m going to prison and getting my affairs in order” is a good one too.
“I’m going to prison and getting my affairs in order” is a good one too.