I cannot empathise. If you love writing code, there is nothing stopping you writing code. I write code for fun with no commercial intent all the time, and have for decades. Very few oil painters had a salary.

This is a complaint someone is making about their job propspects thinly wrapped in floral language. I know for some people (it seems especially prominent in Americans I've found) their identity is linked to their job. This is a chance to work on this. You can decouple yourself and redefine yourself as a person.

Who knows? Once you're done you may go write some code for fun again.