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bombcaryesterday at 4:45 PM1 replyview on HN

Get a job, make your bed, clean yourself, read, walk, and talk to everyone.

If you think you can't do any of those things, figure out how. If you're scared to try, start by talking to old people - and really listen.

Stop thinking about yourself, think about others, and don't get fixated on "one girl" or otherwise drive yourself insane.

If you've done all of the above for a few years, then you may be in a position to complain - and change something drastic about your life (move, change jobs, travel, etc).

But the root of it all is treat everyone as a person worthy of respect, not just "hot girls" as trophies to be won. It ain't no video game.


Replies

infamouscowyesterday at 5:36 PM

I have a close male friend in their mid-thirties that has struggled dating since I've known him (~10 years). He is attractive, dresses well, goes to the gym, eats well, has a few hobbies, and isn't emotionally stunted nor suffer from any arrested development issues. My girlfriend thinks he might be cursed since we don't have any single friends to match-make him with.

He moved to a different city a few years ago and reported more hookups, but serious dating is just as bad. I'm starting to notice him becoming tired of it all, even though he hides it quite well.

Given it's not realistic to keep moving to different cities as it's financially and socially expensive to do so. What should I suggest?

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