alt Hacker News<< I find this to be another under-discussed challenging of parenting: you can never even entertain the idea that "maybe this wasn't what I wanted"
You can absolutely think it as long as it stops there. There is a reason. At that point in the game, your needs and wants are supposed to be subordinate to those of the kids' long term survival. I could maybe understand this sentiment, oh 50 years ago, when you maybe could plausibly claim you had no idea that child rearing is not exactly easy, but unless a person is almost completely detached from society, it is near impossible to miss the "pregnancy will ruin your life" propaganda.
Consequences. They exist. Some are life altering and expected to last a long time.
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This is a hilariously narrow view of family life.
Life is a lot more complicated and there's essentially limitless possibility between living a life you feel is solely about "paying consequences" or "completely abandoning all responsibility" (which, btw, is still an option. Not great, but neither is the former)
But I do appreciate you providing an object lesson in just how taboo it is to even entertain the thought publicly!
>You can absolutely think it as long as it stops there.
If that's the attitude it renders virtually every discussion about the topic moot and the people in question better stop trying to give life advice to anyone else.
My wife and I don't want kids and we've heard our fair share of (unsolicited) opinions on the topic from people who clearly weren't always happy. I've only ever known one woman I worked with, who was a brilliant scientist, tell me straight up she regrets having children and wished she could have focused on her research.
If that's not something you can honestly say without being berated then clearly the 'propaganda' still works mostly in one direction.
Some of my friends and family who had kids at a young(er) age - and by that, I mean late twenties or early thirties - seemed totally oblivious to the hardships of parenthood.
You’d think by your thirties you’d do some basic research. Most people just have kids because it’s just “what your supposed to do” and don’t give much thought beyond that.
I don’t know what they thought to themselves, but outwardly they projected rainbows and unicorns until reality eventually hit them.