This is an abhorrent threat to the safety of our children and just another example of how the [Red / Blue]* party are failing in online safety.

That is why we, the [Blue / Red] party are announcing today a manifesto pledge to outlaw all computers that allow unsigned booting of unauthorized platforms, to outlaw all browsers that do not participate in the chain of trust this provides, and to outlaw all websites that do not verify the code path from boot to browser.

Only with complete trust and authorization will we be able to sleep safe in the knowledge our children’s faces are being scanned by law abiding patriots and not subverted by evil hackers like xyzeva and Dziurwa.

— General Secretary gorgoiler

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*What do you do, btw, if you extend your political machine into another country by subsuming their party into yours, but when their colour is traditionally X and yours is traditionally Y? Mixed light: the White party? Mixed paint: the Brown party?