Where did I say any of that?
I'm saying that if you care about performance, data structures should be designed with approach specific tradeoffs in mind. And like I've said above, in typical business apps, it's ok to start with data structures because (a) performance is usually not a problem, (b) staying close to the domain is cleaner.
See also:
"Show me your flowcharts and conceal your tables, and I shall continue to be mystified. Show me your tables, and I won’t usually need your flowcharts; they’ll be obvious."
You said: "You can't design a data structure without knowing how you will use it."
But the whole discussion involves knowing how you will use it; the advocacy is for careful consideration of data structures (based on how you will use them) resulting in less pain when designing/choosing algorithms.