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j123myesterday at 1:55 PM1 replyview on HN

I’m 40, and I’ve spent most of my life alone. To be clear, I’m an introvert, so being by myself is something I’m quite used to. Still, I think I have some experience that might be worth sharing:

1. Find something that’s truly yours. Remote work is fine, but having a personal project you genuinely enjoy is a completely different feeling. Try to find something like that.

2. Fill your day with structure. My day starts with reading and studying languages, then I go for a walk, work, read and learn more things, and relax in the evening.

3. Walk more. This habit is hugely underrated. One or two hours of walking a day, especially in the sun, can brighten even the darkest day.

4. Exercise. Almost everyone talks about it — because it works. And it works really well. The key is consistency.

5. Travel if you can. You’ll get a lot of new impressions and meet many interesting people.

6. Don’t just play games — watch them. I’m serious. As silly as it might sound, let’s plays can genuinely help with loneliness. There’s even research suggesting that people in streams can sometimes ease loneliness better than real-life friends. If games aren’t your thing, find streams on topics you enjoy.

7. And finally: as others here have already said — try to find yourself and understand yourself. Often loneliness isn’t about the absence of people, but about not being able to accept who you are.


Replies

sillysaurusxyesterday at 2:00 PM

Thank you, particularly for the "watch streams" suggestion. I'd forgotten about those.