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mrjyesterday at 9:41 PM0 repliesview on HN

This is great. Also, as somebody going through this change for the second time, I'll add that things come in waves. Sometimes grief, sometimes loneliness, sometimes regret, etc. It'll swell and seem to last for forever, but then it'll pass almost without noticing. When you're in the worst of it remember it will ease up eventually.

Whenever I feel down I try to redirect those thoughts into some new thing that I can do now. Nothing is ever 100% negative. Find those positives, dig them up and display them.

I get through by getting into every single thing I couldn't do before. Just like when I turned 18, I went to every place I could find to get carded. Even a great relationship is work and compromises are made, and it's hard to find the time to do all the things.

This weekend I dug out my trip collection I wasn't allowed to display. I pulled out old photos and hangers that didn't make sense for our blended family but now it's just what I want. I bought some used golf clubs. I rearranged the whole house to suit me (and to fill in the empty parts).

I'd bet your dog never seen either the snow or the beach, so take a whole trip just to do it. Learn to play drums. Spend hours at a bookstore. During a bad breakup some years ago, I volunteered for a campaign and went knocking on doors. Not only did I not get shot but I made some friends, too.

Revel in this phase. Because this will also pass and you'll find something else eventually (if you want to). I'm trying to be the most single I can be to really appreciate this time and learn from it.

You know, looking back at my life so far I realize.. all of my best stories were from my single days.