Part of what atas2390 wrote resonated with me: "being alone as a skill you practice, e.g. 20–30 minutes a day you choose ... on purpose. Over time your brain learns “alone” can also be calm, not just panic"

In fact, purposeful practicing aloneness rewires the brain so that is normal (and enjoyable again).

After divorce, I felt lonely a lot, and didn't enjoy my alone time the way I did before. I made myself go to more social events, but that did nothing to help me enjoy my alone time again. It was avoiding the thing that "scared" me.

I tried meditation (alone), guided by books, but though it helped some, it was too easy to skip, and the reward seemed low.

But then ... I found a Zen meditation school and started sitting with them weekly. It felt good to see familiar faces even if I didn't get to "know them" in the typical way. Sitting was hard at first, because I could see just how obsessively busy my mind was. But focusing on the breath, even in the beginning, slowed the mind down enough that I could see that further down, there is a person that can appreciate the goodness in just being alive ... grateful to draw the next breath ... to be in this moment, not regrets about the past or fears of the future.

I slowly started to feel more connected to myself and then, and this was a surprise, to the things around me. And as I relax into what is, instead of my desire to control what happens to me next, I found I could listen to others better and feel more connected to them. I've even started feeling I can listen to my own feelings better and be a better friend to myself.

I'm guessing any regular meditation practice could do this. I've heard friends say they got this experience from going to yoga, so there is more than one path.

There's an extra I did not expect because its a Zen Buddhism group. There are regular, brief (3-5 minute) kong-an (or koan) interviews with the teacher, with puzzles that can't be answered with Western thinking. Seems like the only answers that satisfy me (and the teacher) come from a more spiritual "gut" level. Getting there seems to poke chinks in my old foundation of western, American, achievement, doing-centered thinking.

All the above is leaving me more open to being alone or being with people. Existence can be more satisfying when you don't need to hold a yardstick to it.

Regardless of whether my input is helpful to you, I hope you find a path that works for you. I believe you can.