Second -> this seems like something that might be cool.

But as someone who's probably as close to your target audience as you can get -> it's not clear to me what exactly this does, and when I would need it.

That may mean I'm not in your target audience, but then I suspect that audience is very small.

My critique:

> Pollen is a self-organising mesh and WASM runtime written in pure Go. Workloads are "seeded" into the cluster and organically scale and follow load. There is no central coordinator; decisions are made deterministically, locally, using a gossiped CRDT runtime state as their source of truth. Same view of the world; same workload placement and routing.

Sentence one is fine. It could probably be less mumbo-jumbo-y.

Sentence 2 should be paragraph 2.

Your actual sentence 2 should be along the lines of: what is a self-organizing mesh, and when is it useful (IMO).

I also would suggest not using CRDT right away. I think you might have a lot of people that might be interested in this, but don't know exactly what that is or why it's useful.