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Paracompactyesterday at 10:22 PM1 replyview on HN

Eh, kinda. But there was enough self-deprecation there that it doesn't leave a bad taste in my mouth, and I consider this a genuine reflection.

> Why did I need validation from my org chart? > Pretty quickly realized I was being kind of a bitch. > I have a bad case of Why Not Me syndrome.

These cut deeper than faux modesty and are clearly insecurities. It's the rebelling of a sensible superego against an id hungry for validation, and the author doesn't downplay either of the two.

But yes, I'm sure he also gets a perverse thrill out of advertising his achievement, even if he intends to disparage it. It's a complicated psyche I'm rather familiar with.


Replies

holden_nelsontoday at 2:32 AM

Thanks for the charitable read. Yeah, it's not like the part of my personality I'm lamenting has just gone away ;) I did have a hard time writing this post because I'm not under the delusion that what I achieved is truly grand or worth posting on HN about. It was more meant to be a reflection on a mistake I made: setting a bad goal and then fixating on it.

But yes, I feel a small tinge in my brain whenever I'm introduced as a "senior engineer". I'll know I've truly made it when that finally goes away.