Right but at n=1 you are writing the policies, reviewing them, signing off on them yourself, raising risks, then ducking out the back and running out again with a fake mustache so you can accept the risks you raised... regarding yourself... lol.

Audits rely on a _certain_ amount of ceremony and theatre.

However, since you typically pay for audits / certifications yourself you might find someone who is willing to entertain the charade if you shop around enough. Probably a solo auditing firm :)