It's simply not for you then. That's okay.

I'm the opposite. I can't use a non-RPN calculator. Getting the numbers out of my head and onto the stack is how I achieve clarity in what I'm doing.

I used the 49 in high school until I wore out the substandard keyboard. Then I did what I should have in the first place and bought a 48GX which I still have 20+ years later.