I dislike duplicate code as much as anyone, but agree with the OP that bad abstractions can be worse. They add confusion and complexity which compounds over time, since people are forced to build on top of them in ways that (by definition) don't suit the underlying domain and ultimately become self-referential. This leads to contortions, workarounds and even more bad abstractions which ought not to be there—they're reactions to the code not fitting the problem, or as Fred Brooks called it, accidental complexity. You end up in an evolutionary dead end where the system is hard to extend because it's too hard to understand.

I've learned to tolerate a small amount of duplicate code for this reason. If the duplication remains small, it's not that harmful, and if it starts to grow, one has a better shot at finding a good abstraction for it. Bad abstraction is premature abstraction.

One thing I'm not sure this thread has mentioned yet is how LLMs alter the cost-benefit curve of this. They are much better at managing duplication than humans are, and much better at noticing inconsistencies - the sort of small bugs which duplication traditionally leads to. I don't know if this is enough to count as a different kind of good abstraction; I doubt it. It reminds me of a petroleum economist I once knew who had 200 duplicate spreadsheets analyzing different projects and who hired a junior analyst to keep them all consistent. An LLM would be like the junior analyst.