Its time to invent something lightweight and good which runtime is so small that it becomes a system default.
like a microvm with normal language features. Something you can and want to actually attach a debugger onto it. Something independent of architecture too.
I just hate bash :| Even just using bash and curl and checking if its a website or an error page...
It's definitely not a system default (unless it's a system I've had access to for more than ten minutes!), but:
I use Janet[0] for this.
Nim might be an option. It even has a subset to be used for scripting purposes.
Python already fills this role.
exe.dev does a pretty good job of instantly deployable microVMs
Go has a fast enough compile speed I feel like you could syntactically sugar it to be a command line.
I use Python for that, since I know it will always be on my machine.
Is this what you have in mind?