alt Hacker NewsMy 20-something son is living with us but he does pay (some) rent.
I half expect to have to apologize for this, like when I was growing up people would think you are a loser if you were in this situation. Today people think we are really smart and the people who are paying more rent than they can afford to live alone that are losing.
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I am early 30s. I realised this about the time I finished university and thought I might be expected to move out. The housing market was already pretty insane.
I got a job that required me to move when I was 25, though, and what I realized after that was that living with your parents constrains you. I don't know how your relationship with your son is, but while I lived with my parents, they expected to know where I was going and be home for dinner, and even if I refused to tell them, I'd feel that I was judged for it, so I usually avoided it. Living by myself means if I want to go to a party or buy a pile of network switches for experimentation or get into soldering, I can just do it without worrying what my parents will think. I think delaying that stage has been really bad for my development.
That's the way it is where I live, too. It might not be "fair game", but if people really want to help their kids, they should do everything in their power to get them into the housing market ASAP.
When I grew up, that was seen as pampering kids. They'd never "learn" how to be financially responsible, etc. if they always received help.
But, let's be honest, in many places the housing market is now so expensive that people could be saving for 5-10 years just to afford the down payment. And by the time they have enough, the market will have appreciated even more, so they have to save for even longer. I have peers that got into the housing market 20 years ago with help from parents, and their properties are now worth 5x - 8x of what they paid.
I can’t understand morally or financially how can parents charge anything of their children. Not judging it, just honestly can’t understand it. Isn’t it the parents’ responsibility to build the foundation for their children and keep building it until it’s there? I am viewing it from a moral angle where it’s the parents’ selfish choice to have a child so they must take full responsibility until a child is or feels that they can be independent.