> take the 3am on-call and be the hero instead
Ah yes, the good old ITism "Everything's good, what are we even paying you for?" followed by "Everything's on fire, what are we even paying you for?"
I moved out of it largely for that reason, am now an infrastructure/IT project manager, quite refreshing actually.
How did you swing that transition? Did you study for PMP before applying around, leverage network to get in the door then backfill skills, or what?
The trick to surviving under such management is to jump in and put out other peoples' fires but not spend time preventing them even if you know how to.