I realize many people are devoted to emoji. But my God, this type of infantilism is a proper blight.

Do people really have so little faith in their articulacy that they need to resort to crude cartoons? And what's the aim? Hope the recipient takes pity on the sender's insecurity? Distract from one form of mindless stupidity with a greater one? Who in their right mind ever thinks to themselves, "This message is ok, but I know what'll improve it: a nice little graphic-wank over the words." Or do users actually think there something charming about the things? (But that's unlikely. What sort of simpering plankton would ever mistake a smiley for charm?)

Whatever's behind the fad, I wish one of the tech giants would grow the balls and hairs to deprecate the things - or that a new generation would rebel against its parents childishness and find an amusing way to shit on it - roughly enough to wake them out of the practice. Or alternatively, that emoji users would spend a moment - just a moment - looking at the fatuous mess they're making of their comms and grow up. I can't be the only person who cringes when I see adults jump back in their playpens or reach for a dummy. And really, how can it not be immediately obvious to these people that not everyone wants them stuffing their soggy nappies through their letterboxes? Their general absence here is one of the most refreshing things about this site.