"And here’s the absurd part: that history exists."

"It’s a jigsaw puzzle where the manufacturer had the original picture, cut it up, mailed me the pieces one at a time, lost a few in the post, mailed some twice, and printed nothing on the box."

"and that’s the entire problem: nothing announces a gap."

"None of this is any provider’s bug. Their webhooks work exactly as documented. The problem is what a webhook is: a notification, “something happened, here’s a POST about it.”"

Almost this entire section is clearly written by an LLM

Detecting LLM-written text is a critical skill these days. If you believe only 50 words of this was slop, then that's a skill you could improve.