alt Hacker NewsI have exactly one friend. I had two, but one of them recently passed away suddenly. At 51, I can definitely say it's very hard to meet anyone. I guess I need to start playing D&D or board games or disc golf.
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I created (well ... bought the domain) https://clubs.fyi to solve this problem for myself, after I moved to a new city and found myself with no friends for like the 4th time in my life[1].
And yes, the findings in TFA are true. The main catalyzer is something you do regularly with another person. That's it. It could be just sitting next to each other, but weekly. The best thing for this is joining a club, clubs happen around a common interest but also a club could just be something like "we sit on this bench every week".
I got busy with work and other stuff and have not put in the care this project needs to get it off the ground, but if you're interested in helping out, feel free to reach out.
Two takeaways (not mentioned in TFA):
* Being intentional means knowing thyself and deciding what you want in your life with as much detail as you can. "I want to meet new people" is not as good as "I want to meet people who like baking muffins AND are actively engaged with it AND also want to meet other people that are heavily into muffins". Sure, the audience is greatly reduced the more specific you go, but the value of that group when you find it is 100x more rewarding. You don't need 100 friends, you only need 2 or 3 genuinely good friends :).
* A lot of people are on the same boat as you, way more than you imagine. Something like 6-7 (no pun) out of 10. So, grab your hometown population, multiply it by 0.7, that's how many people are willing to make new friends TODAY. The problem is that we have been trained to suck at meeting new people, the processes by which we discover each other and learn about each other has been labeled as "exposing yourself" by nu-psychologists (of which the vast majority should be imprisoned imo, but that's a different topic).
The reason why this (fear) has been ingrained into the population is to have a mass of people who age/die faster because they are lonely and (induced to be) stupid; but again, that's a different topic, lol. I just want to give you the overall context.
A club is the perfect excuse to let those guards down, after all, you and others think "I'm not a creep[2], I'm here because I genuinely like <collecting Pokemon cards or whatever>" and those connections start to flourish naturally (because they're natural, we are primed to meet people, we are primed to make connections). So, go ahead and just join one local club that caters to your interest; if it doesn't exist, create it, it will be a very rewarding experience.
1: Everyone told me to do D&D. I don't like D&D and trying to force yourself into something you don't really like just to meet people has low ROI (I've tried it for years, I stopped doing it).
2: Thinking you are one is part of the psychological abuse that was put in there on purpose and by design. I cannot stress this enough, one must understand the causes to tackle the disease properly.
I can vouch for board games. I play DCC (D&D for grognards) and board games with a group I met through a guy at work. It was a little awkward at first, but we've been doing it every few weeks for years now.