I have a bunch of volumes that I'd like to get automatically attached and mounted to nodes on which their respective workload runs (which are automatically scheduled) who automatically fetch and mount their config files and secrets from a HA DB on demand. I also need some internal loadbalancing and integrations with something like certbot for all of my web workloads. Id also like to make sure that I get metrics and logs from every workload in some form.

Thats basically it for starters, what non-technical solution do you propose?

What I meant is that the fact that the world is running on Kubernetes is not a qualitative statement about Kubernetes.