I was sure this story was going to end with your script causing chaos by calling finger in a busy loop. But every 2 minutes! Even in the 90s, that's a pretty mild amount of network traffic.
The grey beards in the mid-90s cut their teeth on much more constrained systems! The web crawling these days probably has all the ones who have passed spinning rapidly in their graves.
I think automatically printing the system console log to paper is the real villain in that story.