I never felt that pressure to have kids. In fact, even though I waited until I was in my mid 30's, I was the first in my social circle to have kids (I guess I hung around with younger people?).

I knew since I was a kid myself that I wanted to someday be a father. If society pushed me, it would have been when I was still in elementary school.

After I had kids though… It was strange to scroll through coworkers social media feeds and see the same photos of groups of 30-somethings holding up wine glasses while the waiter (I assume) takes their photo at some fancy restaurant in the Bay Area. It all seemed so… hedonistic? Or maybe just kind of empty.

Becoming a father gave me purpose that was (finally) not about me any longer.

And now, the nest empty, I still am unable to go back to that person I was before. (Whoever that was.)