I would probably suck at marketing, and my personal preferences and convictions have no bearing here, I guess.

With that out of the way, I hate this kind of vague messaging. Yeah, the product will... somehow enable me to achieve some vague goal. Okay. Why don't you slap some screen-filling pictures of happy people in an office on there while you're at it, Mr. Marketing. I'll probably just close the tab and move on. I need substance and details, and I don't have the patience to go digging in your stupid feel-good marketing material for 20 minutes!