* Headphone jack for special music

* SD card slot to store that special music

* Multiple physical SIMs because eSIMs can't be trusted

* Multiple eSIMs because physical SIMs are dumb

* LoRa for meshtastic because the network can't be trusted

* Drug scale for weighing drugs

(Actually, just put the drug scale on there and great teaming throngs of people will immediately forget that they ever owned an iPhone.)