Modular synths are very cool, but it's a bit like a swimming pool: it's great when someone close to you deals with the grind so you can just enjoy it.
I talked myself out investing in modulars because I know I'll never have the patience to deal with the wires when all I want is to play. Big respect for those who can do it!
For around $1200 USD you can put together the “dark easel” of a Make Noise Strega, 0-Coast, 0-Ctrl off Reverb. That plus a little oscilloscope/tuner like the Korg NTS-2 and you’re set.
The worst thing about them is the lack of patch memories. This is sold as some kind of creative limitation, but really it just means you can't park an interesting patch and keep refining and exploring it.
I prefer virtual modulars like Reaktor and Cherry Modular. Especially Cherry because there's a nice Java dev system which allows custom development with some ready-made UI and I/O options.
Once you can start to visualize the voltage flow in your brain its so much fun to deal with the cables.
Some people have more or less fixed-patch instruments which might be up your alley. Definitely not that type myself (things are always changing and getting swapped in and out), but there are a lot of fun ways to use them.
No shame in that. I find modulars a bit too expansive for my taste. It sounds like you'd benefit from a more traditional hardware synth where the signal flow is mostly locked down.
The Easel has internal wiring that minimizes excessive wiring needs
For me, the "wires" are the play! I go into VCV rack when the intention-oriented workflows in a DAW like Ableton feel too much "on the rails". The large exploration space of a virtual modular setup is tedious if you're trying to do a straightforward DAW task but wonderful if you are itching to have something unexpected and inspiring thrown at you within the action space of one or two knob or wiring changes.