There are a lot of options in this space, but I feel utterly helpless. Which of these are really secure such that I could intentionally run malware without fear of my ssh keys being stolen?

All of the options I find seem to say something along the lines of, “We’re totally secure so long as you don’t Fizz the Bar or Twiddle the Quanzipulator”.

What is the most bullet proof, idiot proof option I should use?