Show HN: Make cursed fonts like Times New Bastard

I have never felt quite so cacklingly nefarious as a designer as I did just now carefully adjusting vertical scale and offset so that the x-height and baseline of Papyrus optically match Comic Sans when mixed together.

I don't yet know who I'll be pranking with the downloaded font, but I look forward to their reaction.

If you want to make a designer have a nervous breakdown, upload a copy of Helvetica and make every second or third character be Arial.

Inspired by the sample text for "Nervous Sans": "Anal", an Arial with bad keming

There is a lot of fun stuff you can do with fonts. A friend of mine made a self-censoring font: Paranoia Sans https://github.com/flegfleg/Paranoia-Sans

For extra fun, you can make font that are the same as original but then you add ligature for some words and you make ligature using the same font but spelling different word. For example "red" ligature will be "green".

My LinkedIn UI already looks like that

https://imgur.com/a/FCmzWNa

and I don't know who to report it to. I guess it's owned by Microsoft so also not surprised.

Huh, didn't know the font could control variations over nth glyhph!

Could one make in theory a regular monospaced font to just render glyphs past 80 chars of a line as bad as possible?

Some of these effects are actually really easy to do with CSS @font-face & unicode-range. See: view-source:https://hlnet.neocities.org/font-face-tricks

Royal Ransom Note just downloaded! It will be great to never have to cut magazines again!

Temu Sans is an absolutely beautiful demo choice. I love this. Thank you for making it.

> Bastardica can make simple fonts feel a little, hmm, richer?

This is truly the YTP of fonts.

temu sans is beautifully on point

This is beautiful. I think I'll have to use this for a game.

This is great!

FYI for the creator, I'm hitting an error when attempting to change the mix-in font (Webkit/iOS):

  Something went wrong: Out of bounds memory access (evaluating '_PyRun_SimpleString(r)')

if people want to play with font generation in a non joke -- and frankly way LESS impressive -- manner, i made likeface.net too. it's a little buggy. but it's cheap and it's generous with redraws

I have to admit, I spent way more time on this than required (giggling madly at my creations)

I love it! Every click on the title will also change its bastard font :-)

Temu Sans cracked me up

This looks like the cut out magazine ransom letters you see in every movie.

Love this, I had a lot of fun and more than a few laughs messing around with it.

Nice logo interaction too!

Thanks, I love-hate it.

Really fun op!

I like it

Nice, I like it. The fonts are very interesting and captivating.

My eyes!!!

Seeing the results makes me unreasonably angry… nice job :D

Bookmarked for future use!

This is interesting -- not from the perspective of different fonts (although that's interesting too!), but from the perspective of it's a web page that can apparently render fonts on the fly...

That means that it's probably using some library in JavaScript or WASM to implement that.

If that's the case, then I'm thinking, you know, that functionality, that is, font rendering on demand could, in theory, be placed into a CloudFlare Worker (or other Serverless service, i.e. AWS Lambda, Azure Functions, Google Cloud Functions, OCI Funcions, IBM Cloud Code Engine, Alibaba Function Compute, etc., etc.)...

That could be useful for a variety of applications... including (but not limited to!) word processors, typesetting software, homemade browsers, online games, heck, really anything where custom fonts are needed...

There could be two distinct benefits with this, let's call it a "FaaS" (Fonts as a Service!) idea:

1) No need to bundle/ship/include a font rendering engine with software that needs one.

2) Extra layer of security -- Local font rendering software is typically Turing-Complete, and as such, the local font renderer could potentially run viruses and other unwanted programs. I.e., local font rendering is a security risk. By hermetically sealing that code into serverless function, offsite of the local machine and having that serverless function send only fully rendered font data one way, the attack surface of the font rendering engine is effectively removed from any local PC.

This being said, the disadvantage is that it couldn't be used if the Internet or server or cloud provider is down for any reason.

Graphical font data, once created and downloaded, could however be cached by clients for offline situations / offline usage / offline work.

So, there are some interesting ideas here...

Whoa this is really cool. Wish I had an excuse to use it for something… hmmm.

Thanks, I hate it.

This is absolutely diabolical and should not be put into the hands of humanity.

What have you unleashed? Hey, look guys we got the next Oppenheimer over here.

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