This place being well-known now for the prohibition on "shallow dismissals", I think it'd be great if we brought back the rule against submissions that are merely "shallowly interesting" (which is frankly something that this, er... "performance"* doesn't even qualify as):

<https://hn.algolia.com/?q=%22shallowly+interesting%22>

* hard to read this characterization and see it as anything other than the product of unvarnished, I-want-to-believe (that Emperor is wearing magnificent robes) hero worship