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Windows 11½

384 points • by jjbinx007 • today at 5:51 PM • 117 comments • view on HN

Comments

paavohtl • today at 6:30 PM

I can tell this is fake from the fact the explorer context menu and the start menu open in under 2 seconds (on a top end Ryzen CPU, nonetheless).

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accrual • today at 6:32 PM

This is insanely good and mimics my personal experience of Windows these days. I literally say "pop-up! pop-up! pop-up!" out loud during a normal workday where one pop-up or prompt is rapidly replaced by another. Same app or different, doesn't matter, there's always something trying to grab attention on a Windows desktop unless you configure the hell out of it (and even that is no longer enough).

My favorite "joke" from this site:

> Scan complete: 1 threat found — ChromeSetup.exe

FWIW, I switched to Fedora in January and have no plans to look back. Only $dayjob relies on Windows anymore.

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jedbrooke • today at 6:35 PM

It’s too snappy and responsive, real windows I gotta wait with the spinning blue ring thing for a few seconds after clicking ‘x’ on the notifications. That is when they’re generous enough to give an ‘x’ and not force the user through some onboarding flow with no easy way to opt out

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drnick1 • today at 6:58 PM

It must be hard for Windows users to imagine that on Linux there are is no activation, no Microsoft account, no cloud backup, and no pop-up requesting that you install crapware when you plug in a peripheral.[0] You also own your disk encryption keys and are not assigned an identifier that can be used against you.[1]

[0] https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6IFVTcM28KA

[1] https://www.pcmag.com/news/a-hackers-arrest-reveals-microsof...

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bradfitz • today at 6:22 PM

This is not realistic; the start menu opens way too quickly.

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throooooo • today at 6:33 PM

I can feel my blood pressure raising. Very accurate to the Windows experience.

mistic92 • today at 9:41 PM

I feel like its experience in US version of Windows. I never had so many popups in EU. Whats funny, I feel this way with macos, even after a year after setup I get some start notifications which I clicked many times.

AceJohnny2 • today at 9:46 PM

The "Advanced sound settings" "this setting has moved three times" has triggered me. And I'm still on Windows 10!

metadat • today at 6:28 PM

Win XP was peak computing for the masses, and most didn’t have a clue!

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ajkjk • today at 6:59 PM

My windows 10 pc continues to bother me to update because I won't get security patches anymore. I will absolutely never update to Windows 11. The only way they ever get me to pay for an OS again is if they go far out of their way to be respectful to the user to compensate for all the disrespect.

Thanemate • today at 8:21 PM

That's just awesome and makes me regret not switching to Linux earlier. I wish the creator of this made the start menu suddenly change after running Windows update, because Microsoft knows best on which folders you need to be visible by default. It can be customized, but you can't go back to how the start menu was.

doawoo • today at 6:42 PM

> Windows is activated with a digital license. The parody watermark will remain because it is part of the joke.

Thank you for a good laugh

kodama-lens • today at 9:49 PM

Nice, search does nothing - as always

beloch • today at 7:05 PM

Nice. A couple thoughts:

1. It needs to take a minute to load. While doing so it should display an "Installing Updates" progress bar that is controlled by a random number generator.

2. After booting in, it should try to sell you several services. The decline options should be hidden and possibly moving around evasively. Clicking them should have good chance of backing up all your files to OneDrive anyways.

sensanaty • today at 6:38 PM

My mother-in-law bought a new laptop last week and asked me to set it up for her, it came with Win11 by default. I was genuinely flabbergasted at how terrible of an experience it was, screen after screen of "We respect your privacy. Let Microsoft collect every single thing you have ever dared to breath onto this computer?" right in the install screen. After that lovely experience you're greeted with a billion random junkware preinstalled like fucking Candy Crush. I wanted to crash out when I clicked around in explorer and saw every UI element buffer for a split second, and after further research it seems they're using React in explorer these days.

What the hell happened?

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itronitron • today at 7:04 PM

just want to add that if the creator adds Powerpoint, then starting a Powerpoint presentation should prompt a 10 second countdown to a forced update and restart...

gpvos • today at 6:32 PM

The "fix everything" button should link to a Linux installer.

riskable • today at 6:32 PM

Proving once again that Windows isn't ready for the desktop.

austy69 • today at 7:05 PM

I recently switched back to windows so I could play Wardogs with the boys and I’m not enjoying my fans running at 100% when I’m not even running a game and the constant notifications. I’ll be back on Linux within a month

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zhrvoj • today at 8:16 PM

Will anybody, ever, write an OS that doesn't serve the purpose of itself? Like Solaris, Win 3.11.. So many pop-ups, every so often... very nice, very useful, thank you. Worse than Micro and soft guy os.

Dwedit • today at 6:34 PM

Back when Windows RG (2001) was considered a sharp mockery.

(Random fact, at the time that flash came out, clicking on the A: drive made your real floppy drive light up)

comandillos • today at 6:55 PM

I've spent a few months trying to convince my management on getting a Macbook after fighting with a kernel memory leak that consumes the 128Gb of RAM in my freshly new Dell Pro Max 16 with Windows 11. It seems the best solution my IT gives me is to replace my laptop... which I have already done... three times.

rasse • today at 6:20 PM

Stop giving Microsoft ideas!

LunicLynx • today at 8:39 PM

As many comments already mention, windows is way worse than this.

Some obscure background task consuming all cpu. Burning your battery when on a laptop.

There is just so much crap in windows, it’s not even funny.

And man I really really liked it. Windows 7 + the performance work they did for 8 that was the last time it felt like they cared.

johnecheck • today at 6:51 PM

Missed opportunity to have that say "365 Microsoft apps installed"

MattPalmer1086 • today at 7:08 PM

Pretty good!

Could maybe use a "Catastrophic failure!" error message (experienced for real last week)

Real windows is still actually worse...

So glad I moved off Windows at home back in 2003.

timpera • today at 9:13 PM

> Restore failed. Control Panel was replaced by Settings, except for the settings that are still in Control Panel.

Microsoft really needs to remove the Control Panel and let us control everything in the Settings app. It's infuriating to have to go dig in this old mess because of backwards compatibility or something.

corvad • today at 6:56 PM

It's too fast to be real windows and there is not a task manager so I can kill apps when they always freeze.

netsharc • today at 7:01 PM

Please, Please, MS, Streisand this. And then they can change the name to "Microslop Winblows"...

alightsoul • today at 8:11 PM

Reminds me of windows rg and microshaft winblows

CobraMode • today at 6:30 PM

Start menu comes up too fast.

lmc • today at 6:15 PM

Please add deep linking or something so back doesn't mean starting from scratch

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1-6 • today at 6:53 PM

This is a remarkable depiction of a modern operating system.

dverlaeckt80 • today at 6:11 PM

LOL. Well made, give me more than a few chuckles :)

"Windows is taking its time for your convenience"..

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ICHx • today at 6:34 PM

so much rage seeing this

kerv • today at 6:32 PM

who else got rickrolled?

AltruisticGapHN • today at 9:23 PM

Yawn. I have zero nags from Windows 11.

It's not that complicated. Yeah you have to spend an hour or two after install looking up some guides, tweak some registry keys & turn off a bunch of default Settings.

Then you have practically zero nags.

Also no need to update 600+ MB every friggin day like on Ubuntu...

The Windows dunking is getting old.

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redox99 • today at 6:43 PM

Kinda hate the vibecoded sounds.

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stackghost • today at 6:59 PM

Someday in the future, business students will be directing their agents to study cases written by the Harvard Business Review's LLM agent about how people at Micrsoslop saw:

- What good UI/UX could be

- What good LLM integration can look like

- What good office productivity software looks like

And how after seeing those thins they went on to do the exact opposite. I simply cannot believe how bad most Microsoft products are these days. Windows in particular is so much worse than even Windows 10 from just a few years ago that it's almost funny.

I can only conclude that Satya Nadella is a mac user, because nobody who actually dogfoods Windows would consider the current state of affairs to be acceptable.

shivajreddy • today at 6:50 PM

This is wayyy too accurate!

someonesaveme • today at 8:27 PM

Ex-Microsoft, but it's incredible how mismanaged this company has become.

Firstly, the level cronyism is just ridiculous, almost comical. You see Principals and Directors that can barely code at what I'd consider SDE 2 level, but are there purely because of favoritism. Then, you have multiple factions duking it out and releasing iterations of the same product over and over, just for the sake of empire building. All this while blocking or even sabotoging other teams from getting ahead.

There's also the constant rotation of the same people speedrunning features and wrecking havoc on projects before getting promoted and rotating out. Then, whoever's left behind to clean the mess gets PIPed because "the project was running fine when we left it!"

And not only that, but executives and PMs shoving a barrage of pop-ups and notifications for the sake of improving key metrics because We'Re A DaTa DriVeN CoMPAnY. Yeah, no shit you get more engagement by adding popups, but who cares because the customer satisfaction metric is too abstract to be tied back to your team.

Finally, at the end of the day, everyone goes home and uses Macbooks and iPhones.

Levi_Braga • today at 6:51 PM

Very cool website!

thomasmarton • today at 6:12 PM

> Win 11 parody

I'm sorry but where is the parody?

- A Win11 Home user

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dmfdmf • today at 7:11 PM

Needs the "update completed" notice then moves all your icons, apps and menu items around to new locations or gone completely

sagarayi • today at 6:42 PM

this is too much fun. nice one :)

tonymet • today at 6:58 PM

A couple recommended additions

1. the full screen "welcome to your windows experience" to enroll with Office 365

2. Run a Space Force satellite app that stalls into involuntary windows update

eej71 • today at 6:33 PM

Parodies are supposed to be fun!

That wasn't fun. At all.

screams into pillow

ex1fm3ta • today at 7:28 PM

hmmyou should add random delays for each actions. Also add random freezings for each element. This is too clean to be windows.

badgersnake • today at 7:26 PM

MacOS is going the same way unfortunately.

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