alt Hacker NewsI've tried to do this in my community: Challenges faced.
- People unwilling to commit to an event > 7 days in advance
- People flaking even when they do
- Unreciprocated $100s of dollars spent is non sustainable, and lowkey feels kinda like buying others friendship
- People in urban places are living in smaller and smaller spaces. Though counterbalanced by many nicer apartment buildings have amenities spaces that help.
- mixing circles -- people are often isolating their friend groups into niches (pickelball friends, church friends, D&D friends...)
- And IMO the overarching issue in America that creates so many problems -- Everyone is so overworked that they don't have the energy/capactity to do good things: Exercise, and hosting parties being two examples.
Replies
> - People unwilling to commit to an event > 7 days in advance
You want N people. Assume 1/2 won't show. Invite 2N people. Either ask people to bring a bit of food, or provide food for 1.5xN and if you get only N then you'll have leftovers.
> - Unreciprocated $100s of dollars spent is non sustainable, and lowkey feels kinda like buying others friendship
If you have the disposable invome for it then it's its own reward, and you're not buying friends: you're helping them make new friends with your other guests, and this is something they'll appreciate about you. They might or might not reciprocate because as we've seen in this thread, many are not into hosting.
> - mixing circles -- people are often isolating their friend groups into niches (pickelball friends, church friends, D&D friends...)
Mixing is half the point!!
> - And IMO the overarching issue in America that creates so many problems -- Everyone is so overworked that they don't have the energy/capactity to do good things: Exercise, and hosting parties being two examples.
That's what long weekends are for, so host a party on a day in a long weekend.
> Unreciprocated $100s of dollars spent [...]
See, that's your problem. You don't throw a house party because you want to go to other house parties. You do that because and only because, you want to throw a house party.
> - mixing circles -- people are often isolating their friend groups into niches (pickelball friends, church friends, D&D friends...)
I was raised in a social environment where mixing circles was normal and it took me a while to realize that that's not how Americans do things. It certainly creates a lot of difficulties connecting with others, and at least for myself I am a lot less motivated to get to know people better when I'm the X or Y buddy they reach out to when the people they actually want to hang out with are unavailable.