I think there's a split between different crowds. For a lot of them, this type of socializing is a full family affair. No babysitters - kids come.

And that may be why restaurants are out - kids are bored at restaurants.

> Your wife hosts (let’s say on a Saturday) but prepares for it all week and doesn’t help with kids? Is that right?

I'm saying it takes both of us to properly parent the kids, because we're both working spouses. Kids only get 3 hours at home on weekdays. In that time you have to ensure they get food, do homework, have fun, and bond. 3 hours just isn't enough when they're young kids. If one parent is absent, the debt grows.

My point (scattered across various comments), is that socializing need not be hard, and inviting 2 other families for dinner shouldn't take days of preparation. But because of the all the ceremony and effort that people (needlessly) put into it, it does. If they want more socializing, lower the standards. Just have simple food, no special setups, etc.