The corollary of which is that no function the driver might sensibly need while underway should be presented or accessed through a touch screen.

So physical levers and buttons. With some tactile feedback, such as raised lips or centre bumps or distinct shapes, so without looking the user knows which one their finger is on (third from left in the Aircon group). Displays can be present multiple items (don't need physical dials) but changing that display when driving comes back to buttons.