https://quoteinvestigator.com/2019/07/30/lawyer/

"he who will be his own Counsellour, shall be sure to have a Fool for his Client."

How much worse the lawyer who subcontracts Freakazoid?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freakazoid!

"Freakazoid has ... access to all of the Internet's knowledge. He cannot fly, but often runs around with his arms extended and making whooshing sounds with his mouth, pretending he is."