Apple has done more than literally any other technology company to limit their own ability to ever access your personal data.

Always missing from the paranoid lunatic side of this discussion: what devices do you use? I presume you do all your computing on an abacus?

I trust that when they don’t do it perfectly, a million nerds are going to scream “finally! Gotcha!”

…while running far worse stuff themselves, the whole time.

No, but when they make claims in marketing material and then lie, it opens them to huge liability. So there is an enforcement path.