Yeah man, they're call "loaded terms" for a reason. They are loaded with connotations beyond what occurred.

For example, I could call you a nitpicker. Are you picking nits? No.

Are you being conscientious? Paying attention to detail? Sure.

Which word would you want me to label you with?

As an employee do I want to be poached? No. I want to be approached, reasoned with, and make my own choices no matter what either employer "feels" about the situation.