Taco Bell is the most delicious, consistent, affordable, healthy, and fun national fast food chain. They deserved to win the franchise wars on the strength of the Chalupa alone. Baja Blast Mountain Dew is on the Mount Rushmore of soft drinks and Hot sauce packets are a staple in every junk drawer in America. Their discontinuation of Baja sauce and lack of post-1998 commitment to the Enchirito are their only sins (and God has forgiven them because He worked through them to create the Steak Grilled Stuffed Burrito as recompense and was satisfied with such).

There are two actual taquerias less than 100 feet from where I am writing this comment that make food in a completely different league from Taco Bell (which is neither authentically Mexican nor gourmet). It is, however, a shining beacon of multicultural deliciousness and a bona fide American institution. I will not stand for Taco Bell slander and strongly encourage you to reconsider your stance.

Think outside the bun.