alt Hacker NewsEven here in the comments you see people who have read this article and fall victim to the very things it’s pointing out. It’s ironic.
Let me add a couple to this list.
1. No amount of knowledge or discussion will make a person accept something they don’t want to accept.
2. To truly listen means to place yourself mentally and physically in a vulnerable state. Because you will likely hear things that run contrary to your experience, beliefs, and worldview. Judging people is often a self protection mechanism; which means you will almost never listen to someone.
3. Listening often means not jumping to a solution; but absorbing and processing someone’s pain. Product managers for example are quick to jump to a solution, a new feature, or they’ll push the request off as “oh, ok, we’ll make a ticket for that ”
When in actuality, they should be listening to the use case, looking for the pain, and finding a way to solve the pain points. As opposed to trying to understand what feature the user wants to request.
Replies
> No amount of knowledge or discussion will make a person accept something they don’t want to accept.
Not sure it's ever good to assume this beforehand though. Most things are negotiable, if you know how to negotiate right.
"To truly listen means to place yourself mentally and physically in a vulnerable state."
If you can guarantuee me this will not be abused in every situation ever and/or come back to haunt me, i will gladly always give up as much time as i can to actually listen. :)
> Listening often means not jumping to a solution; but absorbing and processing someone’s pain
> When in actuality, they should [...] finding a way to solve the pain points
Honest question, how do I 'absorb someones pain'? And how do I transition from that into eventually formulating the feature/ticket?
Presales discovery in a nutshell. It’s truly an art.
> To truly listen means to place yourself mentally and physically in a vulnerable state
if it's not two ways, stop trying, stand up and leave.
"When in actuality, they should be listening to the use case, looking for the pain, and finding a way to solve the pain points."
You have now described the value of product design (no matter if the person doing this is labeled PM, UX, Product design, or whatever)
You must be in a position to be convinced yourself, in order to be convincing.
ive listened my fair share . sometimes ppl get stuck in cogitation . especially around their pain points . having someone throw them off by implementing a solution helps reframe their thoughts . we discuss the solution instead . on the other hand, my empathy may come off as lacking .
I don't worry about such things, because I have never been in error yet.
The points in # 2 are profound. I plan on sending this to someone who is dear to me. Maybe he will "listen" to it, too.
Thank you.