logoalt Hacker News

You're not uncool. Making friends as an adult is just hard (2021)

23 pointsby downbad_today at 6:53 PM10 commentsview on HN

Comments

diseasedyaktoday at 7:39 PM

I have exactly one friend. I had two, but one of them recently passed away suddenly. At 51, I can definitely say it's very hard to meet anyone. I guess I need to start playing D&D or board games or disc golf.

show 2 replies
d4ngtoday at 8:10 PM

For people into music: Would you be interested in an app that lists music events in your area, where you can register yourself as going, and where people can apply to go with you?

What do you think would work well? What do you think the pitfalls might be?

show 2 replies
pavel_lishintoday at 7:03 PM

> I was told that this person really had all the friends that they need.

In my experience, this does tend to happen in smaller communities - a small town where everyone knows each other, and already has picked out all the people they're likely to be friends with.

> Being intentional is essential, she says.

> According to Franco, the key to building a community of friends is setting up planned interactions, like regular group events or rotating potlucks.

For me, this is D&D.

show 1 reply
wifipunktoday at 7:19 PM

As someone who has experienced the opposite effect I think the trick is to just finding passion in what you do and your hobbies. The more of a resource I am around my interests the easier it’s always been more me to make new friends with those same interests just by having something to talk about

kelseyfrogtoday at 8:04 PM

In my experience, it just takes initiative. Think of it this way, if most people want more friends, then the odds are in your favor. It just takes a little vulnerability to bridge the social gap and make connections.

vunderbatoday at 7:29 PM

[dead]