> installation procedure that requires a fecal sample and iris scan

Do you work for Microsoft or something? Please do do not give them ideas.

> moves when you try to move away the mouse over it

They already did that. I sit down at my computer and try to activate the window I want to work in, and the "location" icon temporarily appears in the notification area which causes all the taskbar icons to shift left. I accidentally click the neighboring icon and launch an app that throws up a splash screen for 60 seconds while it loads.

We should start this process early and all start sending our fecal samples to MS headquarters.

The next Windows should run entirely in the cloud and the user's computer should simply show a video feed of the UX that the cloud generates.

Error: Timeout. Please submit iris scan less than 60 seconds after fecal sample.

> requires a fecal sample So requires the user to log in?

Combine fingerprint biometric with fecal samples for a convenient "fecalprint" button. The user doesn't even have to go into the bathroom! It can be microslops version of Apple's TouchID.

I’m at the point to tell people (friends, neighbors, fellow parents, family, ie, not HN readers) to prolong the life of their existing computers and install what I think is the easiest windows equivalent on their computers: kubuntu.

Gnome is nice and all, but the default ui, and remember defaults matter for a lot of people, is just too jarring.

The people I am talking about just wanna browse the web, go on Facebook and use their gmail. Look at funny YouTube videos. The default KDE ui has that windows start menu and looks roughly the same so they can hit the ground running.

I’d like some vibe coding be done such that I can move the task bar to the left vertically, similar to how MacOS lets me move the dock. It gets in the way of games when you mouse over the taskbar as you try to scroll down in many games.

The next step is mandatory id verification for the age check on login.

To protect the children.

Psst, they already managed to turn the start menu into something that won’t load under one second if you don’t have 3 GB/s NVME drive, and for a while even didn’t respect Fitts law.

Notarized document asserting that you've bullied a child. With witnesses.

That's a great idea the task bar could just shift to expose a link to sign up for azure/office/OneDrive/CoPilot subscription that the user misclicks on.

Great! I can't wait for Clippy to tell me I need to eat more fiber. The future is awesome!

If it means I can install it without internet access then I'm willing to accept the trade offs

Or maybe vibe code a bug fix for said taskbar so that random icons don’t disappear after sleep.

I think Microsoft underestimated how sensitive people are right now to anything that feels like control

In different canton (equivalent to US states) in Switzerland, you take the sample at home, and go to the post office to send it.

So why not to create a M365 account? International dispatch to the US :D

Anal folds are as unique as fingerprints. Please submit a high quality hole pic to Microsoft for identity verification

they should have made it a auto editing script

s/Microslob/Macroslob/gi

that would be honest as there isn't anything micro about that slob anymore

I can really see them ship the first, that's at the same time very funny, and quite sad.

>Drink verification can

We have to make sure each button loads sequentially on the screen in the "Accept" position, starting with the "Cancel" button before moving it to its eventual home. This ensures you never develop quick navigation habits by constantly moving your targets around from underneath your cursor.

Will the oral and anal probe be clearly marked, or will you only get a warning of "swap the probes" after pushing them into wrong holes?

> a fecal sample

a micro shit (tm)

Windows 11 was built without agentic slop. That's a deduction from the timing of its gestation.

Windows 10 was released in January of 2015.

Windows 11 was released in October of 2021.

So this software disaster is entirely human-made. It's human slop.

Just wait, it will get worse, when the team that built the fantastic Windows 11 builds Windows 12, this time with the power of AI amplifying their amazing system design skills, allowing them create even more slop, with an unprecedented developer and team velocity.

Someone misheard iris for anus? lol

“Your sample was insufficient. Please try again later.”